Here I am, half-naked at an airport. Shouting to the top of my lungs about world peace. I have the solution. I have the fix. I know how to do it.

Why is no one listening to me? Why won’t people believe me? I need to tell people the solution to make it alright.

This was one of the few but many highlights from my manic episode.

 

 

A very simple but wrong definition of mania is that it is the opposite of depression. The same way that depression isn’t someone just being really sad, mania is also not just someone being really happy.

 

As you heard my mania caused me to have wild ideas which symptomatically speaking were linked to:

• Flight of ideas
• Delusional thoughts
• And Grandiose, which is the feeling of self importance

 

To understand how one goes to madness I would like you to pretend you hear a phone making a notification noise. *ding*

 

Just for a little background, at this point I’m very ill and I believe the phone is watching and stalking me.

 

I look at my phone and shout:

 

“What do you want? Why are you watching me?”

 

*ding*

 

My friend messages me again asking me “What’s wrong?”

 

Why is my friends saying ‘whats wrong?’ what’s going on? This doesn’t sound like my friend….

 

*ding*

 

AH. I see… the phone who is watching me is talking to me must using my friend.

 

These simple interactions becomes the ground work of my belief system. From there the belief system get compounded eventually enough to make me feel unsafe at an airport.

 

So unsafe that the security guards must think I have a weapon. So I undress myself to show to the security guard that I have no weapon. Genius move.

 

All of those interaction whether true or not will become solid facts in my mind which then becomes reality.

 

— How to get well —

So how does one avoid getting manic or ill in the first place?

 

If you are unwell, the boring advice is to listen to your doctor and take your meds.

 

If you are well but don’t think you are 100%.

 

What has worked for me was to improve my healthtrinity. This is the combination of sleep, exercise and diet. I’m sorry to say it is that simple…but execution is everything. Everyday, taking your meds, getting enough sleep, eating good food and doing exercise is hard.

 

My recovery story was a lonely one where my co-workers and family had associated stigma. A stigma that could have been reduced by education.

 

 

I like to take this moment and thank you for listening to the stories in the Living library as you are doing your best to reduce that stigma.

 

After my recovery, I managed to get a job as a software engineer and rebuild my life again.

 

Today I am, planning my wedding with my finance and also trying to start a business on the side.

 

You can get better and you will get better.

 

Thank you for listening to my contribution to the living library.