I am a trained Language Arts middle school teacher born in South Africa and working in the UK. I love anything children in education, volunteering, writing and art. I have been living with a mental illness for 15 years and counting.

 

From about 8 years old I knew that I was different and that I wanted to die. Crazy was the name people called me. I was not innocent like other little girls. I was ‘marked’. You see when I was a little girl my second cousin performed sexual acts in front of me. This moved to the bedroom where he did things to me.

 

I get flashbacks of other boys too. Doing things. And I’m there. Flashbacks don’t show me the whole picture so I live with more questions than answers. The night became my worst enemy. The night was when all the boogeymen came out to play with their favourite little girl. Sleep would wait outside my window.

 

The wheels came off when I was 18 and I got the driver’s seat to my own Rollercoaster ride. I was not afraid of dying but of death and God knew that and so I didn’t die, even after trying 3 times.

 

My greatest work has been creating a NEW life for myself

 

and those I love by accepting my diagnosis and that believing that medication doesn’t make me weak.